21 Aug.2020 00:00h
Are You Afraid Of Using The Word ‘Date’?
Many of the Pick Up Artists and even lots of mainstream dating advice out there cautions guys to avoid dating (or even using the word date). Instead, they recommend “hanging out,” or “meeting up” with women whose numbers they’ve received. It’s time to shed some light on this misguided advice and give you a dose of reality right to the face. The idea behind the whole ‘avoid using the word date’ gambit is based on the pop-evolutionary psychology idea that women are looking for both a provider and mate, and that by online dating or simply using the word date, guys are falling into the provider trap, thus the woman is less likely to have sex with them. Our experience tells a different tale. And while all of the Pick Up Artist theory sounds rational and logical, this is another place where their theory is simply fantasy. In practice, those guys have even gone so far to take the concepts of “first date,” and “second date” and replace them with “Day” plus the corresponding amount of “Days” they’ve seen the girl. Thus the first meeting is Day 1, then first date is “Day 2,” the second date is “Day 3,” and so on. While PUAs and other dating advisers argue that dating is antiquated, we’ve found that, in fact, embracing this ‘retro’ word becomes the sword that cleaves the Gordian knot. We don’t just use the word ‘date’. We own the word. When you can do that, the entire process of dating and being unafraid of dating helps separate you from all the boys out there trying to avoid calling a date a date. For starters, using the word date cuts through the following BS:
- It protects us from girls who would want to friendzone us (dates aren’t for friends, we want to make that very clear).
- It weeds out lots of girls who aren’t into us (honest girls who aren’t into us don’t want to go on a date).
- It shaves away false positives: women who are willing to talk, flirt, hang out and get attention from dudes, but aren’t willing to get closer than that.
- It gives a chance to clarify what exactly our plans our with any given girl in an upfront and straightforward manner so that she can decide if that is what she wants (if you don’t think any girl will want you if you’re honest then read our post on self-esteem).